tunes but no motion

So I drive away from the garage tunes a-blazing and return to work where we are packing for an office move. It quickly transpires that we need way more bin bags than we have been allocated so I volunteer to go to get some. I leap into the Alfa and zoom down the road to the roundabout.....when.........clunk. Car leaps into neutral and will not change back. No selespeed. No gears. No motion.

I summon help and we push her to the local petrol station forecourt where a crowd gathers as I undertake the selespeed failure manoeuvre.... lean into engine with tyre iron and bash selespeed pump madly till it restarts (honest - ask anyone)

It fails resolutely to restart. Many men appear and offer up mostly useless suggestions which I graciously deal with. Many error messages appear.

I summon the local breakdown chap who is very very good and he takes her back to Eric who is barely over scratching his head from last time. We conclude that the way forward is to get the RAC out and take it to Inverness. We do this (not as easy as it sounds -local breakdown guy is actually on the scene but we still have to go through the rigmarole of phoning the call centre and getting them to call him and tell him exactly what he can hear me telling them.....ah well.)

Christine goes to Inverness. I get a hire car. We all go home. Some of us are happier than others.